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July 23, 2022


I liked the way when she got angry or frustrated
she’d start speaking in her native language (Deutsche)

which always sounds angry anyway to outsiders

and then look at me expecting a response 

it would then dawn on her I didn’t know what she was saying 

and she’d smile or laugh and say “Well?”

maybe she dressed a little old-fashioned

wore a hat in style years and years ago

still she looked beautiful in her own throwback way

sausages or wiener schnitzel every night

a side of spatzle 

generous glass of schnapps 

maybe she drank a little too much 

no, she drank way too much 

I poured her into the car and into the bed many times

but none of us are perfect you know

when she was feeling melancholy 

she’d sometimes say “nobody loves a German” 

I said “except another German.”

she asked “Are you German?”

I said no, she might held a grudge

I loved her, but I never told her I was half-Russian

she was Barbarossa invading my borders

so I put up a resistance and threw her back

sometimes you win the battles but lose the war