March 7, 2021

Hard Time

I have a hard time these days I really do
telling the difference between reality or if I was dreaming or hallucinating/////

imagining it all or was it real? I could swear it was real...

whether I’m really awake or lost in a space

a mumble-jumble time and place 

one of those continuum things scholars talk about 

or someone trying to sound like a metaphysical scholar

I could swear I saw something in person

but when I think about it

don’t really know if I saw it at all for real

it seemed so real at the time but now I’m not sure

was my mind playing tricks on me you naughty mind

maybe it’s visions of visions 

wake up and don’t know what’s real

wake up and smell the coffee

some days feeling so detached from reality

which may not be such a bad thing actually

this world is so crazy 

up is down left is right say the party line or else

an out of body experience 

an illusion that leads to confusion 

it’s all very strange - peculiar even

I feel perplexed-flummoxed 

— related—

can our spirit not age

even as our body becomes older and then decrepit 

what if there were no mirrors?

the spirit is always there even if seemingly diminished 

it is only when the brain malfunctions 

outer spirit seems to go awry 

inner spirit stays strong 

even if it doesn’t show 

does the spirit go on despite death of the shell

I believe it so

March 4, 2021

Deep and Deeper

snow deep and deeper in the woods
february characterless late afternoon

wind cutting through the leafless trees

twisted limbs entangled within 

their summer and fall fashions 

no longer being worn

boots crunch the snow afoot 

in the tromped- on snow

slate gray overcast day 

some sound off in the distance

bear, moose, elk???? doubt it

they’re not within 1000 miles of here

just dogs and rabbits around these parts

fallen trees, fallen branches, fallen angels

snow angels looking for mystical redemption 

on the uneven ground looking upwards

heavenly piles of snow

just keep walking collar up hat pulled down 

flurries begin to fall, I’m
in no hurry

not going anywhere really

my soul wanted to take a walk

sat down to make a small fire

no matches so I used my pyrokinetic skills

cracking popping smoking burning

sat there evaluating my life

sat there thinking of nothing warming myself

dusk settling in mid-winter twilight

March 1, 2021


where’s my nightcap
my can’t get to sleep without my nightcap

straight from the bottle

several nightcaps just to make sure 

tap tap tap

sounds good tonight...hemingway-esque 

tomorrow when I’m sober and when my head’s clear

it meets the arch enemy delete button 

in the old days it was wadded up paper

waste paper basket on dirty floor like mt. fuji  

covered in clouds 

or giant marshmallows waiting to get put in a fire

bills not paid (that I never got) (wink)

7 a.m. comes early alarm ring ring

good thing to get up at the crack of noon

after staying up all night with my friend the moon

it’s a better more relaxing world with no one around

nobody around to make a sound

time strung out like a heroin addict

it’s mausoleum silent now

now I can rest in peace