October 29, 2019

I Wanna Die Next To My Dog

bad news bad news she said the words hesitating to come out 
stumbling and tumbling like dice thrown out of a desperate gamblers hand out of her mouth 
their snake eyes staring at me to make themselves known
across the hardwood to the beloved rocker recliner 
where I reclined and dined and wined every night
backyard zen garden in my sight


her words enshrouded me 
ominous San Francisco fog rolling in
in the middle of a sunny July day
last vestiges of afternoon sunlight slipping through old wooden blinds 
laying on the wood floor like an old dog
“really?” I said upon learning of the death of her younger sister 
sudden heart attack at work and it was all over
must of been those damn cigarettes she couldn't live without 


I wouldn’t want to die at work on some corporate office marble slab
have a bunch of people I don't care about staring at me
two quarts low on caring
when they load me on the stretcher and into the meat wagon 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------no
I wanna die at home in peace and quiet
with the dog laying on the floor near me 
like sunlight slipping through the blinds
or snuggled up against me in the bed

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