no postage necessary if mailed in the United States
just pay a separate shipping and handling fee
no C.O.D. ‘s
allow 4-6 weeks delivery
do not bend, fold, spindle, or mutilate
this note is legal tender
drop in any mailbox
no salesman will call or visit you
under no obligation
return to sender, unable to forward
place stamp here
post office will not deliver without proper postage
not responsible for lost or damaged items
domestically prohibited items
ammunition, explosives
gasoline, marijuana
restricted items are alcohol, cigarettes
cigars and tobacco
cremated remains, dry ice, firearms
and poisons
in other words…all the good stuff
