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July 29, 2020

A Title of Nobility

I always wanted to be royalty
a life of ease, plenty of money, held in respect
never actually having to do anything for it
except be born into it
a king would be the top of the pile of course
I think I’d like to be a figurehead king
don’t want no responsibility to actually lead
the main monarch, “your majesty”
tsar is a great title
but that whole romanov 1917-18 thing kinda ruined it
you know, put a damper on things tsar-like
lenin and trotsky ruined it for the rest of us
prince would be good too
important stature but not a decision maker--no pressure
I could get used to somebody calling me “your royal highness”
the title archduke is an indication of royal blood
duke sounds regal- yeah, I’m a duke
the duke of something or other, you know important sounding
usually rules a dukedom or duchy so I am told whatever that is
marquess is an interesting title, sounds french
not as well known but I’d be ok with it
marquess is considered more important though than an earl or count
an earl would sound good to me though
not something silly though like the earl of sandwich
an earl usually is the head guy of the county
a viscount sounds like a guy who has his own castle
even though he’s slotted below an earl
few royalty responsibilities yet highly esteemed
baron from what I understand
is at the lower end of the scale when it comes to titles
but if someone wanted to call me baron
I’d be fine with it--still sounds above the common man
sometimes they’re called a lord
in scotland, they got something called a laird
a laird isn’t a member of nobility
you don’t have to be born into it
he is the owner of a big estate in scotland
like with an old ghostly castle on it
surrounded by a loch
maybe a burn or two creeping around the property
you can call yourself a laird whether you inherited the land
or you just bought it outright
so there’s still some hope for that one
I got a lot of scotch in me
most of it cheap- bought off the bottom shelf of a liquor store